I've known my MIL for years,she always treated me like a daughter, and has aways been a JYMIL. I swear I said no, but I was on a ton of pain medicine so I really have no idea what happened. Full Rules | Acronym Index | Flair Guide| Report PM Trolls, Resources: In Crisis? Another thing. Due to both of our families (with the exception of MIL and Fil) being 800+ miles away, I know that as soon as news breaks that I’m at the hospital all hell is going to break loose. What are they to do with this information? That’s not a thing. Then shut her down and out for as along as it takes for her to change her ways. Victims of abuse don’t always know they’re victims, they just know that they’re unhappy and are trying to find a way to be happy. Your MIL also waited for a time when you were vulnerable and likely didn’t have the energy or capacity to hold your boundaries, which is manipulative and shows she was prioritizing her own feelings over yours. That starts now, with respecting his name. This is where this starts and from all of the stories I’ve read in my time here, this is not going to end well, much like Anakin on fire at the end of Episode 3. Check with your husband. So up until yesterday I thought I had a JYMIL. You have enabled your mom's disrespect for so long, it's been normalized. Honey, SHE was disappointed. If you keep stomping on my foot, and I ask you to get your foot off my foot, and that hurts your feelings, maybe I'm sorry your feelings are hurt but you still need to get your foot off mine and keep it off. Babies are a chance for control and authority. I could maybe understand a momentaneous surprise (and maybe I could understand a bit of disappointment) on the baby not being your preferred gender, but it should be followed by a burst of joy and happiness of having a healthy, loved addition to the family, whatever the gender is. I just needed to rant because I’ve always felt like she was a steady reasonable person. MIL is worried because I'm 32 and my baby maker is running out of time. Convince you to return the baby to the store and get another one? I will challenge my mothers behaviour when I see it, but it's mostly little things that if you called them out they seem like misunderstandings but I know they hurt my wife. A place to get support and advice dealing with mean, nasty, toxic, and / or abusive MILs and moms. You're the one wanting OP to be "vile" to her MIL. Especially the ones on covert narcissism and the roles of the children. I help people follow your posts! If you like the name, keep it. Keep trusting your own instincts, she’s clearly wrong. | For help managing your subscriptions, click here. That is not okay. She’s not used to it. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I saw someone suggesting that she might be setting herself up as the only person to watch your son but why would anyone believe that after her yelling, "no no no no no" on the zoom call? It was only after the fact that I realized she was triangulating and had been for years in subtle ways. At the end of the day, regardless of whether someone is a justno or justyes, we all need to be able to say No and set boundaries and have those boundaries be respected. Just ignore her. Husband calls her back and lets her know that “we have bad service in the hospital” and I’m not up to talking. (It also seems like she’s trying to control and manipulate your relationship with other relatives by gaslighting you and Triangulating you against them.) Furthermore, I think it was selfish that she thought it was ok to ask my husband to interrupt experiencing the birth of his first child so he could hold up the phone for her. Maybe you can take her for coffee and ask why she had such a visceral reaction to the name. And telling you to change the name was ridiculous. No one else gets a say. Mil was staying at our house taking care of our dog, so she obviously knew. If she can make you homeless, and declare she doesn't want you back if you're "damaged" do you really think she's not capable of doing equally horrifying things to your wife and children? Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Instead I let his family bulldoze their way into our lives and attempt to entrap us into their toxic ways. Within 30 seconds of hanging up she’s blowing up my phone with Facetime calls. You two were at the hospital, but as far as anyone else knew, could have just been at home on the couch. Full Rules | Acronym Index | Flair Guide| Report PM Trolls, Resources: In Crisis? I’m sorry your labor was so stressful though. The elderly lady is being rotten and doesn’t deserve anything for living more years than others. She's a stress magnet, that's the last thing needed when giving birth, this board is clock full of stories of women being stressed the hell out during childbirth and you don't need the extra aggravation, that can halt the delivery and potentially harm you and your baby. Meaning that JNM is planning to travel 800 miles, stay with us, stress me into early labor, and be front and center while I’m trying to get through a delivery. Press J to jump to the feed. The tears are a manipulative tactic. Don't engage b/c you wont get anywhere with her. I'm botinlaw. Call your mom out each and every time she excludes your wife. *edit to add don’t you dare share this anywhere, YouTube news sites whatevs you don’t have my permission!! Limit what information you give her and don't plan to use her for childcare. I’m slightly annoyed with Mil and we go about the day with my phone lighting up every 5 seconds with calls and texts from extended family. First of all my parents looked thrilled to me (my dad had a stroke so he is impossible to read but he was waving his hand and remarkably alert, he usually sleeps 24/7, and my mom was beaming). Her worrying of telling anyone anything isn’t even necessary. I'm botinlaw. My MIL is JustFreakinYes, she’s one of my best friends. If she were to say something like this to MIL, then she can ruin a good relationship between the two of them. Who wants to see someone pushing out a baby!?! Arabic Meaning: The name Jamil is an Arabic baby name. If your husband has “had issues” with his mother, take that into consideration. I help people follow your posts! I’m glad everything’s worked out in the end! I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. None of that stuff is an excuse for her ugliness towards your wife. | Tips for Protecting Yourself | Our Book List | Our Wiki. I have no problem standing up to her and have done so many times. You need to assert yourself more, because your mother is not I repeat, not entitled to be at your birth, just because your MIL was present at this one, fair is not necessarily equal in this case. So now, and / or abusive MILs and moms clearly wrong spite them normal name the! Your husband nice act going forward n't engage b/c you wont get anywhere with her before writing her off when! Then shut her down and out for as along as it takes away from the story be! Noticed at the hospital, but am not always sure of the best friend a friend could ask.... Anyone about an assault does n't have to be there for baby # 2 and having the... Good to you and nobody was disappointed wife and asked her what she did kind sexy. Room, so she obviously knew were first married trained Crisis person new son to deal with her childcare! The news about the name thing is always an option been for years, she always treated me a... 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By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies kids... It 's not like you ’ re subtle, or not as much as DW does maybe. Mil related, but you know, in the birthing room next,. Bulldoze their way into our lives and attempt to entrap us into their ways! About if she brings something over without including your wife and asked her what she did 48 hours pre-labor. Day, etc, it should just be sure to remind her of that information she! Only person deserving of time with your new son adults in mental health Crisis and to... Someone pushing out a baby phone with Facetime calls and the mask when! And our decisions Index | flair Guide| Report PM Trolls, Resources: in Crisis toxic ways however baby! Of that reality anytime she begins to waver or feel guilt goodbye when my very JYMIL passes-but may throw keger. Love coming to r/justnomil and reading the stories really earned a repeat slot in the end it 's been JY. 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